Yay we are in the double digits! woo hoo! I'm feeling more tired than ever, and i think the weather up here has something to do with it (besides of course the fact that i'm growing a human being!). It's always gloomy so that just makes me sleepy.
So the baby is the size of a prune, about .14 oz. Dang that's small! The 10th week marks the beginning of a critical period our baby's development when all the vital organs have formed and are beginning to function. The baby is also growing tiny nails on the fingers and toes as well as tiny buds for teeth. (BTW, i don't make this up i have a baby bump app that gives me week by week info on the baby lol). Here is the belly.
Since i'm a second time mom, they say you start to show earlier, and can feel movements sooner too. I swear i feel this baby flutter all the time.
We went to the dr. on monday and got to hear the heartbeat, and ami thought it was so cool! Later when we got home corey played the video he recorded of it, and ami said "baby!". It was so cute!
As for me, I'm feeling really down, and i even started crying at the dr's when she asked how i was doing! I thought it was just hormones at first, (even commercials would make me cry) but since i got back from cali i haven't been the same. I cried to corey last night for about an hour and luckily he had all the right words to tell me. I am just feeling so useless, with not working, or going to school. Trust me i want to, but daycare is WAY too much money, and i don't really know how much work i could do anyway, considering i have had some issues with my back already. I know i take care of a toddler all day and keep up with the house, but i still feel like i could do more. He assured me i do plenty, and even today he has helped so much! I'm so blessed to have him, i just wish my family was around too (and my close friends). I miss them all so much, and i wish they could all just take turns living up here with us so i have someone familiar with me.
I dont know, i'm just struggling a lot more with this pregnancy than i ever remember with the first. I feel like it could be more than hormones, but who knows. And on top of all these crazy emotions, i find out there are "rumors" going around about a deployment to Afghanistan at the end of the year. Yep right when the baby should be here. Hopefully it's just a crazy rumor, but you never know. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, because this is just way too stressful. I know there are others out in the world who are dealing with more, and who are pregnant at the same time, so i guess i should be thankful for what i do have. But i just can't help my thoughts and my emotions. I honestly can't wait till next month when we get to come to cali, because that's the only place that truly feels like home anymore. Well, i'm off to take a nap now, until next time friends :)
Hang in there, Hun! The weather does play a huge roll in your moods here. I feel like I have spent over 2 years in a fog. I had a lot of symptoms of depression on&off over time. My husband was deployed the last few months of my daughters pregnancy and had missed the birth. He didnt get home until she was 2m old. When we talk about getting pregnant again-I go back to what I went through and the prospect of them deploying again (I heard the rumor too lol) makes me take that idea off the table. I have always missed my family. They are on the east coast and I rarely see them. I think everyone feels like life would be much easier being close to home. Sadly, this is the life we accepted when we fell in love with our hubbies =). You are a very strong woman and your kids and family will give you strength. I feel the same as you do about feeling useless when it comes to a job but there are many other things you would have to give up to have that job. Sometimes being a wife and a mother is enough!
ReplyDeleteTricia I just want you to know that we love you!! and miss you all tons! Being a mommy to a toddler and being an army wife is an incredibly stressful job. People who think being a mom isn't a job, don't have kids! As for the weather, it is playing a HUGE roll in your emotions *along with being pregnant! lol Going from living in So Cal where its sunny ALOT to living in Washington is like night and day. The gloom and rain all the time makes alot of people really depressed, remember when you first were moving up there, even you quoted that it had the highest suicide rate and its because of the weather. Just know that when you are down and feel useless even though you are NOT!! Know that you have lots of family and friends that love you and care about you. Try to be happy for the new baby coming, I believe that if you are a happy mommy you will have a happy baby so be positive. You have a little miracle growing in there that is zapping all of your energy and what energy you have is spent on chasing Ami butt everywhere! So just take time for yourself and relax when possible. *when ami sleeps lol. Enjoy being a mommy to 2 babies! Also know that I too feel down alot and wish we could move back to Cali even though I am back here with my family. God will only give you what he knows you can handle, you just have to realize that you can handle it and not let it overwhelm you. Love you!
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